Traditional Scottish Songs
- Fou the Noo

This song, written by Gerald Grafton and Sir Harry Lauder, is sub-titled "Something In The Bottle For The Morning". Like a number of Lauder songs, it contributes to the not inacurrate picture of the Scots as a hard-drinking race.

The words here have been sourced via a Web site dedicated to Sir Harry Lauder where you will find a a lot more of his songs and can order sheet music of Lauder songs.

Fou the Noo

I just come frae a weddin', or a fun'ral,
A christ'nin' or somethin' of the kind,
And the stuff that I've been drinkin' took my noodle,
And to what or where I've been I canna mind.
I feel as brave as any highway robber;
I've the courage of a dozen men the noo;
I'm a miserable devil when I'm sober
But I'm very, very happy when I'm fou!

And I'm fou the noo! absolutely fou!
But I adore the country I was born in.
My name is Jock McGraw and I dinna care a straw
For I've somethin' in the bottle for the mornin'
And I'm fou the noo! Absolutely fou!
But I adore the country I was born in.
My name is Jock McGraw and I dinna care a straw
For I've somethin' in the bottle for the mornin'!

If ye take a Five Pound Note to light your pipe with;
If ye think a bassinette's a motor car;
If ye lift the doormat up to wipe your nose with,
If you're in your hoose and don't know where you are;
If you kiss a policeman and say "Hoo dearly,
My dearest darlin' pet hoo, I love you"
Well then that denotes conclusively and clearly.
That, like me, ma freen's, yer absolutely fou!


I felt quite mad when coming roon the corner,
A lamp post struck me richt between the eyes!
Ma blood got up I wanted to be fighting,
Because the thing did not apologize.
Just after that I tumbled oe'r a doorstep,
"Thieves!" "Murder!" and "Police!" I cried,
But I'm goin' to make the owner compensate me,
For his negligence in leaving it outside.

Patter (spoken) Yes, but at the same time the burnin' question is , when is a man fou? Eh? Of course, the cheaper the whisky, the greater the burnin' question. The wife will swear whe I go home that I've been drinkin'. Would you notice I've been drinkin', eh? As I was comin' along the street th' noo, I met a half-cousin of the wife's : you "know one of these Dr. Dowie-chaps". Said he "John! I'm surprised at you. are you aware the wicked stand on slippery places?" "Well!" said I, "you should be just like me - keep slidin' along, and there's no fear of you" Said he, "You are not fit for any society!" Said I, "That's a lie. The wife has me in the Prudential." Ya see th' bird I've got in ma hand? (holding chicken up by the neck). D'ye know the way I got it? Ma hat blew off and I chased this for half-an-hour!


Meaning of unusual words:
fou=drunk, tipsy
bassinette=a hooded wicker cradle or perambulator

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