Scottish Poetry Selection
- The Problem

Here is Walter Wingate in one of his pawky humorous moods as he argues the pros and cons of the married and single states!


The Problem

The best o' being a bachelor
Is the fash that ye dinna gie;
For naebody frets about how ye get on,
Or greets very sair when ye dee.
The best o'being a marriet man -
There's ane ye hae aye at your ca'
To do a bit darnin' and look for your specs,
And thinks ye nae bother ava!

The warst o' being'a bachelor -
Ye're just like a cow among corn;
It's fine-but ye ken that ye sudna be there;
It wisna for that ye were born.
The warst o' bein' a marriet man
Is just that ye aye hae a wife,
To girn about pickles o'snuff on your coat
For the term o' your natural life.

There's this about bein'a bachelor-
It maun be the best o' the twa;
For frae a' we hear tell o' the angels in heaven,
There's nane o' them marriet ava.
But then there's the chance, wi'a marriet man-
It's this mak's a body sae fain-
O' catching a bonnie wee angel down here,
And startin' a heaven o' your ain!

I've coontit it up, I've coontit it down,
But there seems to be nae ither plan
Than just to keep bidin' a bachelor-
Or else, be a marriet man!

Meaning of unusual words:
fash=trouble, inconvenience
gie=give
greets=cries, weeps
sair=sore
dee=die
ava=at all
nae bother awa=no bother at all
aye=always
girn=complain
pickles=small speck
maun=must
fain=loving, affectionate
bidin'=staying

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