Scottish Poetry Selection
- Oh! Bluidy Orkney

Here is a poem which is said to have originated amongst army personnel who had been posted to Orkney during the Second World War.The 54 "bluidies" certainly shows the frustration felt by such a remote posting.

Oh! Bluidy Orkney

The bluidy town's a bluidy cuss,
No bluidy trains, no bluidy bus;
And no one cares for bluidy us
           in bluidy Orkney.

The bluidy roads are bluidy bad,
The bluidy folks are bluidy mad;
They make the brightest bleeders sad
          in bluidy Orkney.

All bluidy clouds and bluidy rains,
No bluidy kerbs, no bluidy drains;
The council's got no bluidy brains
          in bluidy Orkney.

Everything's so bluidy dear,
A bluidy shilling for your beer;
And is it good?--No bluidy fear
          in bluidy Orkney.

The bluidy films are bluidy old,
The bluidy seats are bluidy cold;
You can't get in for bluidy gold
          in bluidy Orkney.

The bluidy dances make you smile,
The bluidy band is bluidy vile;
It only cramps your bluidy style,
          in bluidy Orkney.

No bluidy sport, no bluidy games,
No bluidy fun, the bluidy dames
won't even give their bluidy names
          in bluidy Orkney.

All bluidy work, no bluidy play,
20 bluidy hours a day,
All for a bluidy soldier's pay
          in bluidy Orkney.

No bluidy snow, all bluidy sleet,
no bluidy coal, all bluidy peat,
Your boots freeze on you bluidy feet,
          in bluidy Orkney.

Best bluidy place is bluidy bed,
With ice upon your bluidy head
You might as well be bluidy dead
          in bluidy Orkney!

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