Scottish Poetry Selection
- Maw, Whit if he Ever Gets Oot?

There was a time when ministers preached with passion, fire and brimstone, in order to get their message across to the congregation. While they meant to impress their parishioners and keep them on the straight and narrow, did the ministers ever think of the impact that their sermons would have on the children in the church? This poem, by an unknown author, illustrates Sandy McGrime's reaction!

   Maw, Whit if he Ever Gets Oot?

'Way up in the far north o' Scotland,
   Dressed up in his sporran and dirk,
Wee Sandy McGrime, for the very first time,
   Was ta'en alang tae the kirk.

He gaped at the box kin' o' pulpit,
   His moo near as roon' as the mune,
An' gripped at his Maw, as the beadle he saw,
   A-lockin' the meenister in.

The time cam' for hearin' the sermon,
   An' feart-like was wee Sandy's look,
As stoor fairly jumped, when the meenister thumped
   An' pounded his nieves on the Book.

The guid man reached oot, an' he shouted
   An' bellowed an ruffled his hair,
He cried and he craved and ranted and raved,
   An' waggled his fists in the air.

Wee Sandy was shakin' wi' terror,
   Fair frantic he looked roon' aboot,
"Oh, mither," said he, "wull we a' hae tae flee,
   If ever that mannie ever gets oot?"

Meaning of unusual words:
beadle=church official

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