Scottish Poetry Selection
- The Fitba' Family

Here is a poem about the fanatical involvement of a family in "fitba'" (football - or soccer if you come from North America) much to the disgust of the (anonymous) person who wrote the poem.

The Fitba' Family

Ma faimly this while back are a' clean demented,
The hale o' the laddies - and lassies an' a'
At kirk or at merkit, nae odds whaur ye meet them,
The subject they're on, is aboot the fitba'.

'Bout half backs and hale backs and forwards and centres
This week or twa back, ah hae had ma fair share,
And then 'bout their wings they are never done talkin
As if they intended to flee through the air,

Ah gaed ower last Sunday, the length o' Peg Allen's
Tae hae a drap tea - and a friendly bit chat,
And when ah came back, ye wid scarcely believe it
They were peggin awa wi' their Faither's lum hat:

Wee Jock's shoutin oot "That's a foul aff 'a Davy"
And Willie, he's shoutin "aff sides" intae Jean,
When Tam shoots for goal in the midst of the scuffle,
And knocks the lum hat, wi' a bang in ma een.

And then you should jist hear the screeches o' Mary,
She ne'r scared ma wits oot, she gaed sic a roar,
Cryin', "gie's yer han', Tammy, it's you that can dae it
Ah kent a' the time ye were able tae score!"

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